oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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