So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
