Girls should come with a carfax report
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
