She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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