is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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