no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
