"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
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I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
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K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.