): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important