I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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