It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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