Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
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