So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
