he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Hippo gnu deer
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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