...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
love makes seman taste better
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
