whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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