Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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