Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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