I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
