I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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