Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize