there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
