think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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