You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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