you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
