we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Duck Duck Cougar?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
