I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
