HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
