if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He better not be in your backpack
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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