shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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