I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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