Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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