My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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