no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
