OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
