Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
