omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
