Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize