wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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