M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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