Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
