Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
