You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
