haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
