just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
