tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
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