So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize