you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
