I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
