perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
