Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize