I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
