there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
