he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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