he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
