Grow some girl-balls and come out already
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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