no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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