You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Just high enough for therapy.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
