try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
