i just had sex bonerless
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
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Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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